Swiss Choco-gasm

Truffles.  Drool.

Truffles. Drool.

Random Observation/Comment #171: Chocolate has always been a forbidden desire in my life.  It constantly tested my self-control, and I almost shunned its very existence to avoid obesity.  This philosophy existed before I began following the “everything in moderation” rule and decided to step away from the edge of extremities.  Since then, chocolate is simply seen as a special treat that should be indulged at special occasions.  These “occasions” can be justified by any excuse, such as, being in Switzerland with awesome chocolate, graduating Cooper, finishing a paper, or waking up in the morning in a chipper mood.  My willpower automatically boosts when I think about going to Max Brenner’s and buying chocolate, but when I finally cave (which I often do), I decide to splurge.  When I splurge on chocolate, it’s a good idea to accompany me because I love trying everything and I love sharing to reduce my chocolate intake.  This Chocolate Heaven would have added an extra love handle and made my dentist very rich if I didn’t at least stop myself from walking there every day.  $20 worth of chocolate isn’t so bad… well, as long as it was the whole week, and not one out of three days.  Take me away, Oompa-loompas.

I don’t remember the exact address of this chocolate shop near the Interlaken West train station because it was snowing and I was really just following the crowd in a hungry, zombie mess to find food (and I know how it feels to be a zombie; I attend Zombiecon on the regular).  The deep growl for food and crooked walk at a snail’s pace really added some effect to the following scene, where I sexually molest the window of the chocolate shop.  My palms were pressed tightly against the window, and my hat fell off from my eyes trying to get closer than the brim allowed.  My nose squished and my eyes shuffled around the room to scan for the best quality and calculate how much money I would eventually spend.  The odd thing was that the ladies working in the shop did not “shoo” me away or even give a dirty look – they just smiled and pointed to their watch.  Apparently, they weren’t open yet and they probably see people like me all the time.  I imagine that window looks like a trucker’s windshield during a hot summer – poor buggers.

Chocolate was on my mind when I ate a doner kebab at the restaurant a few blocks away.  I was craving it so much that I could taste the sweetness.  I imagined the texture and the colorful fireworks of tastes with each chew.  The mind really bends reality when you want it to.  My taste buds were under my control even if every other part of my body wasn’t.  I had a one-track mind on a train to my chocolate fantasy. If I were horny, I’m sure I would have pictured some model dripping in chocolate, but I was just hungry, so the dream was closer to the Simpson’s candy land episode where Homer runs around taking a bite out of everything.

Keegan shared my obsession with chocolate, but I’m not sure if he hallucinated as much as I did.  I was having difficulty deciding how much money I should spend and what I should buy from all of these choices.  I think the right choice would have been to buy the bags of chocolate they made directly there, but I found many of the chocolate bars on the shelf to be irresistible.  I couldn’t believe how some of this chocolate was half-off of the normal price I bought in St. Mark’s Market.  After searching through my memories of the times I browsed the chocolate sections in New York City, I picked brands and types that I have never seen.  Honestly, I think I could have picked anything and I would have been happy with the result.

It took a level of willpower to stop myself from buying this chocolate, but an additional dimension of difficulty after buying the chocolate and holding it in my bag without devouring it in a second.  I made so many excuses about how I didn’t want it to melt on the train ride back or overnight.  This was the reason for returning 3 times.  There was some chocolate that didn’t even need chewing – I think I was having an orgasm the full amount of time, no matter how long, the chocolate required to melt in my mouth.  I love Interlaken chocolate.  Let’s hope Belgium doesn’t disappoint.

~See Lemons in Chocolate Heaven


I just jizzed in my pants.

I just jizzed in my pants.