Chasing time
Random Observation/Comment #195: I feel like I’m always trying to stay ahead of my age. When I saw that Tony Stark video from Ironman, it made me wonder why I didn’t do all the awesome shyt that he did. Realistically speaking, I’m not smart enough to graduate from MIT at the age of 18, and neither is 99.9999999% (I might need more 9’s) of the world, but I’d always like to think I could be that unique flower (that genius unique flower). I don’t remember very well, but I’m pretty sure it was the elementary schools that fed me all this false hope that I would be some exception. Whatever happened to just being normal? I guess striving for normality seems strange, and seeing how stupid normal people are gives me some discouragement. Anyway, it was in the second of year of college when I realized that this age barrier disappears and becomes replaced with experience and stories. I’m not in competition with Tony Stark or even the guy sitting next to me. We’re all just enjoying the little pleasures of life while contributing to our respective communities. Happiness is actually quite simple.
Competition drives our economy and creates this motivation to win with better innovations and marketing plans. I’ve always thought it was a good thing to join these contests because it promotes teamwork between students and gives each school a representation towards a common goal. I found these projects (other than kicking ass and wrecking the competition in every event) was also about teamwork and strengthening the core of how we advance. I always thought that “best team spirit” award was bullshyt for schools that didn’t win any other awards (and it probably was), but I think it’s actually quite important to fortify the idea that individuals, by themselves, do not change the world. To make this place better for the generations to come, we must become a team and fall into our respective specialties.
Competition mixes nicely with motivation, but fails when it’s taken without the community and teamwork required for reaching the goal. I originally thought that I would be against comparing people to each other and looking for the most exciting story and series of adventures, but now I feel a bit different. Without the normal (or at least my vision of a normal life), then how would I then actively become different? It sounds like I’m just being purposefully difficult and going against all normal activities – and in a way – I think I am. Why not?
It seems like I’ve fallen into some Engineering pre-career crisis. Based on the working engineers I’ve spoken to, I see this stereotypically boring engineering life style with their second lives lost in some social network. Their 9-to-5 just sounds excruciating and I will do everything I can to prevent this from happening. I want to mold the enjoyable aspect of engineering with the excitement in random hobbies. I feel like I’m trying to be my own psychologist for a possible future-Clemens based on every decision I make. It’s quite challenging figuring out how you’ll react to certain unknown environments, and maybe this over-thinking is making me hesitate that choice that will help me move forward.
Getting to know yourself is an interesting thing. It reminds me of these theories I’ve heard about finding the right significant other.
I guess I’ve been putting so much thought into finding a career that I’ve related it to finding a spouse. I should be dating around to see different types of personalities, but I can’t have such a long list that it just becomes disgusting (especially if you are required to show this list with your responsibilities in each relationship to your next relationship before the first date starts). I wouldn’t want to date me if I’ve jumped from girl to girl trying to find myself and what fulfills my financial and intellectual stimulations. What I look for in a career is complicated (almost as complicated as how I react to different types of girls). There are obvious deal breakers and things that would make my pants come right off, but the most important part is looking for the right package. It must be a balance of all of these things, and the perks of the career must outweigh the negatives. For example, I could deal with a tramp-stamp (technical term) if it were above a beautiful booty (also a technical term).
If I apply the same logic with girls as I do with a career, there is one thing that I should realize. Even though I pretend to know myself and how my ideal girl looks and behaves, there will always be something completely outside of your comfort zone that catches you off guard and sweeps you off your feet. It sounds like some cheesy, cliché line from a chick-flick, but I think it reminds me to keep my eyes and mind open to seize the opportunities (that pass by in a mini-skirt) and just keep following the path if it keeps you happy.
Life does flash before our eyes before we die – it’s called living. I rather spend it doing something instead of waiting for perfection that will never come.
~See Lemons Date Around
Falling Deeper
