30 Random H1 2024 Insights

Random Observation/Comment #835: Dear AI, Please don’t learn my sense of humor. It’s the only thing left that’s human.

Why this List?

There’s no shortage of random insights. Some of them are dad jokes. Some of them are memories. They all make me pause and feel. Admittedly, a lot of these are just bad jokes I’ve heard. The algorithm knows what I laugh about.

Previous Random Insights: 202020212022H1 2023, Q3 2023

  1. “You guys ready to rollie pollie?”
  2. How many narcissists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None – they use gaslighting.
  3. I was ready for a layup, but I’m more physically fit for a lay down.
  4. I don’t mean to brag, but cashiers are always checking me out.
  5. I always tell my new hires: “Don’t think of me as your boss. Think of me as a friend, who can fire you.”
  6. How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? Wait, you don’t even know?
  7. When my wife loses her phone, I say helpful things like “Where did you put it?” “What were you doing when you lost it?” and “Have you checked your pockets?”
  8. Use it up, wear it out, make do, or do without.
  9. He’s old enough to be your father, but sexy enough to be your Daddy.
  10. Comparison is the thief of joy.
  11. I’m addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers. I can’t just quit cold turkey.
  12. I need more “cat on glass tables” in my life.
  13. Learn to work harder on yourself than you do on your job.
  14. That’s all I want. Just people to cry when I’m not there.
  15. If anything can be fake then nothing can be real.
  16. Curiosity is the elixir to life and youth.
  17. You live in a deranged age – more deranged than usual because despite great scientific and technological advances. Man has not the faintest idea of who he is or what he is doing.
  18. Thus the choices we make don’t need to be the best; they just have to be worth more than the time spent making them.
  19. Don’t live a year 75 times and call it a life.
  20. This one is like the word commerce. It really means business.
  21. The work me, home me, and outside me are three different people. We don’t even look the same.
  22. I tried to look up a lighter on Amazon. All they had were 13000 matches.
  23. Have you ever sneezed during a work zoom call and the speaker pauses for a second so you wonder if you’ve accidentally unmuted and disturbed the whole call, but then it’s all okay? What a rollercoaster of a Tuesday.
  24. Men – we don’t grow up. We just grow old.
  25. Soft landings are like second marriages. Hope over experience.
  26. What is love, if not grief persevering.
  27. It’s not even a muffin top right now. It’s just all muffin.
  28. I went to the bathroom and knocked. The guy said “Who is it?” and that’s not the answer you expect. You’re supposed to say “I’m in here.”
  29. I’m in praise of mediocrity. Just do something even if you’re bad at it.
  30. Whatever you do, your kid will eventually resent you.

~See Lemons Randomly Observe